Human brains are incredibly complicated systems that have evolved over hundreds of thousands of years.
“From an evolutionary perspective negative emotions such as fear and anger are our first line of defense against threats” Alan Carr - positive psychology
The brain is an organ much like the heart or the liver. It’s function for early man was to keep him alive. Many of our emotional responses and brain functions have been shaped by our evolutionary needs. Biologically we all hear negativity louder than the positives. Many of our ‘go to’ thought processes originate from our brains old survival tactics. These brain functions were essential for our survival when we lived in the wild, hid from predators, hunted prey to survive and stockpiled food for the winter. These threats were 'immediate threats', that required us to act straight away. But in our modern world, with social media and consumerism, these brain tactics can be more detrimental than helpful to our lives.
With early man the inner negative voice would have worked for our survival ‘watch out! It is a lion, run!’ - our stress and anxiety levels would rise and we would act accordingly (run away) and our stress levels would subside. ‘Do not go over there, that is where your brother was bitten by a snake’ ‘last year half of us perished in the winter, you must find more food’. It was the negative and somewhat pessimistic thoughts (maybe there isn’t a snake there anymore) that ensured early man took less risks and therefore was more likely to survive.
It is still important for us to take calculated risks, but we no longer need our brains to be so negative. Our critical inner voice gets too much play-time in our modern world. We do not face the same level of threats and danger, our threats are now more to do with social situations, fitting in, measuring up to an ideal etc Our threats are also very rarely immediate i.e. you work hard at exams to get a good job years down the line.
Where did my internal negative voice get it’s opinions from?
Our inner negative voice is mostly shaped by our early life experiences, but can be shaped throughout our lives. We internalize experiences and create behaviors and reactions to protect ourselves (just as early man did). We create ‘learnt behaviors’. Our inner critical voice helps to keep us aligned to those behaviors. For example we may ambush our own relationships, because we are scared of being hurt as we have been in the past. The system (of which our inner critical voice is the spokesperson of) will say “He doesn’t really care about you,” or “You’re better off on your own,” so that we take those steps to avoid the situation altogether
“The function of the system is to instigate avoidance-behavior and inhibit approach behavior to keep organisms away from situations that may entail danger, pain or punishment” Alan Carr - positive psychology
If you were repeatedly and traumatically told off for speaking your mind as a child that could turn into an inability to speak up for yourself as an adult. The brain tries to protect you, to get you to avoid a situation that in the past caused you pain. The inner voice may say ‘shut up, no one wants to hear you speak’ ‘ you have nothing good to say’ ‘if you say anything you will be laughed at and left alone’.
As teenagers social pressures can shape the way we act in a desperate need to fit in. We run the danger of losing our real selves and instead create behaviors and identities that we believe will help us be ‘popular’ i.e. ‘survive’. It may tell us ‘You are not fun enough’ and push us to do more dangerous and rebellious things to fit in. ‘You're not pretty enough’ when comparing to all the airbrushed media images we are surrounded by, which can push people to go on unhealthy diets and slap on too much make up to hide the real them.
I experienced this as a teenager and as I grew older I had a inner battle between the identity that I had created for myself to fit in (or 'survive') and my true self. They were not aligned at all. My negative critical inner voice became louder and louder, and it really controlled me; my actions and behaviors especially in social situations. I was often anxious and stressed.
“Negative emotions actually narrow our thoughts and actions in order to act in a self-protective way”
It’s important that we analyse our negative inner voice so we can decide objectively if it is helpful for the present situation or just a learnt reaction from our past which is not helpful now.
“The inner critic uses up a lot of energy worrying, being fearful of doing the wrong thing, feeling inferior and at fault, and can lead to social awkwardness and lower self-esteem.
A smaller inner critic voice can help us self-correct our behaviour to be less selfish and more considerate of others, but when the inner critic voice becomes louder than our loving inner voice, it starts damaging our sense of deservability. The inner critic then starts tearing down our sense of self and damages our self-esteem—sometimes over and over as it becomes a habit.” http://howdoidate.com/personal-development/the-remarkable-evolution-of-the-inner-critic/
Our inner critical voice may sometimes be useful to help us motivate ourselves, or choose better paths. But it often does the opposite and make us avoid situations and react in negative ways that can cause ourselves and others harm. We need to be able to identify this voice, whether it is speaking logically or just abusing us and then find ways we can deal with it. Techniques we can use to identify and deal with our inner negative voice will be the subject of my next post